And now for something completely different

If you’re thinking “mmmm, slam that in my gob”- you’d be right

Wanted to take a moment out of our busy, work-a-day lives (read out of my night watching old eps of the OC) to let you in on the secret of an occasional treat I partake in, one that made me so happy on the weekend I literally had a little skip in my step.

Ok. Here it is. Get ready. Cue Space Odyssey drums.

Custard,

just wait for it ..waaaaaiiiit..

.. .. and rice bubbles*

(Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum buuuuuummm)

Together. In a bowl. With a spoon (the two latter ingredients are really a matter of taste and convenience, obviously. It’s the primary, more edible ones I want to focus on). Yeah.

I know what you’re thinking, and what I will suggest is this: sit your tiny inner sceptic down, or take your large inner sceptic for a nice walk to the shops or whatever and patiently explain to him/her that new experiences are beneficial in various sort of lifty spirits, puppy in an old folks home kind of ways and furthermore custard is inherently lovely and so a snappy, crackly and poppy version of this wonderful goopy yellowness is surely just abundantly more of a good thing.

Thank me later.

*I actually used Home Brands Rice Pops, for my nocturnal delight on Saturday. You’ll find that imitations actually do still manage to provide the same audio pleasantries we’ve come to expect from our cereal.

I just, I need to get this out of my system

There is, friends, a great and a glorious thing that exists among us. Humble, unassuming, taken daily for granted, but beautiful beyond reason. The very face of God staring at you from your Royal Doulton dinnerware.

ham & cheese on multigrain– elegant in its simplicity, no?

The sandwich, man. Can’t. Go. Wrong. What, I ask could be better at being a meal in your hand? The Sandwich. Splendid, mighty, piquant.

The Widow Maker (ie tomato, cheese, avocado & cucumber. not for feint of heart.)

If you can’t grasp the lofty concepts I’m tossing about like so much baby spinach, allow me to break it down for you.

Sandwiches are one of the better things that exist in the world.

They save my life and they do this by being totally awesome and also edible. I suspect that there may be some who are still unconvinced of the vast and boundless magnificence of the sandy, and for those, I will now drop some knowledge.

double decker PB&J (no I am not an American, I am however a fan of the acronym and potentially lethal sandwich filings).

Why sandwiches kick other things asses:

1. It’s everything you need, and it’s all together in bread, that’s why.

2. It’s the food of the working class. No piss-farting around with knives and forks and all the other bullshit the bourgeois wants us to think is necessary and impressive. You just pick it up and you jam that sucker in your face.

smiley face fritz & salad on white –note the controversial “horizontal cut”

3. The sandwich is the single most impressive invention of the modern age. What’s that? Penicillin? Oh, oh, the printing press?

You can put anything you want between two slices of bread and eat it for your lunch.

Boom.