- My brain
- Any man, woman, child or animal who has any part whatsoever in the production of Two and a Half Men in any way
- Johnny Depp, despite indications to the contrary within narrative of recent dream
- Kate Moss, see above
- Self’s lack of appropriate time management skills
- My necks, arms, legs and torsos refusal to act like they are in fact attached to a rock god and not reduce me to limping feebly about my house after a night out
- Child performers whose uncanny skill and warbly vibrato leaves me twitchy and uncomfortable
- Self’s debilitating obsession with Wonka’s chewy gobstoppers
- Scatting
- Apparently carbohydrates
- Reggae
- Bloody pollen (bloody being in this case an expression of my distaste for said pollen, not a description of state of pollen)
- The apparent learning disability that rears its head around assessment time and causes my brain to behave like a startled pony trying to read journal articles
- This conversation: “Geez, it’s cold today!” “This? This isn’t cold. You don’t even know cold.”
- Tammin Sursok.
- My ovaries, odd non pimple that never goes away and ridiculously unfounded crushes on people I will never meet
- Snot
Things that are not my friend
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